yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
