FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
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