I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Randomize
