is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
