I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
Randomize
