Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
my being single is dangerous.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Randomize
