girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
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I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
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my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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