Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Randomize
