smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
