I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
