Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Randomize
