I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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