Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
