We're like a lot better than the average bears
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
He kissed a someone with a penis
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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