just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Randomize
