Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
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