the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
