zippers are such a cool invention
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
