I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
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