Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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