Im at strip club and am horny
Plan B is the new Plan A
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I just threw up on my dentist
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Randomize
