he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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