What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Last time i carry you out of a forest
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
