Betty ford says i'm here all night
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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