you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
