Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Randomize
