physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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