Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
