Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
