do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Randomize
