Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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