she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
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