Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize