Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
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