Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
My cat gives me a boner
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Randomize
