why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
