Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
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