i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Randomize
