I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
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