I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
I wear drunk well.
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