I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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