my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
