Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
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