Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
