Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
ugly people sure do ruin things
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How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
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