escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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