Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
I just want nice things and good sex
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Randomize
