Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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