just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Randomize
