How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Randomize
