Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
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