i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
BRING THE BAGELS
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Randomize
