Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
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he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
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