If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
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