so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
vagina is talking i cant
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Boobs speak an international language.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Randomize
